rejection -- as a musician -- how you do handle it????

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rejection -- as a musician -- how you do handle it????

Postby Bobby D » Tue Oct 28, 2008 10:34 pm

I was recently asked by my alma mater college to come back and play shows and talk about my involvement in music, my thesis on ambient music, and my thoughts on things 10 years after this was all done.

While I was digging through my archives, I found an ENTIRE STASH of rejection letters from nearly every label that mattered in 1995.

4AD, Capital, Daniel Lanois (he at least gave me a personal note), Warner, Sony, Hollywood, on and on and on.

I just spread a few of them out on my guitar and shot a picture for the heck of it. I'm in a weird mood today.

But I still got that record (LVX Nova) signed. Even after all those rejection letters.

Don't let rejection in the music biz get you down. You gotta keep going for it.

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Re: rejection -- as a musician -- how you do handle it????

Postby mfolet » Wed Oct 29, 2008 6:36 am

Yeah,I have a bunch of those too.We built a studio and did it ourselves.We are lucky enough to have 3 radio stations in town that supports local music and the internet.Rejection only made me work harder and be self reliant.
A few years back we played a festival to 10,000+ people only to play a club the following night to 8 people.That kills ya more I think.It is a funny business.
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Re: rejection -- as a musician -- how you do handle it????

Postby Bobby D » Wed Oct 29, 2008 10:22 am

mfolet wrote: A few years back we played a festival to 10,000+ people only to play a club the following night to 8 people.That kills ya more I think.It is a funny business.



THIS is a big one.


I know that feeling.

I toured Europe, playing to tens of thousands of people and had the time of my life.

then, I went back to Tampa, and was playing to the same 20 drunk people at another small bar.

It almost made me slit my wrists, it was so depressing.

Success is more dangerous than failure in the music biz......
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Re: rejection -- as a musician -- how you do handle it????

Postby Bobby D » Wed Oct 29, 2008 10:58 am

mfolet wrote:Yeah,I have a bunch of those too.We built a studio and did it ourselves.We are lucky enough to have 3 radio stations in town that supports local music and the internet.Rejection only made me work harder and be self reliant.
A few years back we played a festival to 10,000+ people only to play a club the following night to 8 people.That kills ya more I think.It is a funny business.



Just noticed you are in Rochester -- love that crazy "House of Guitars" up there. some strange guys running it, but a very cool store.

And I love to play at that place -- Dinosaur BBQ????? great venue......I also played something called the "Lilac Festival" that was a LOT of fun, and I fell i love with Susan Tedeschi that night, but then she met my old friend Derek Trucks, and now they are married. But I met her FIRST!!!! :lol: :lol: :lol:
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Re: rejection -- as a musician -- how you do handle it????

Postby mfolet » Wed Oct 29, 2008 11:25 am

House of Guitars is the best,I bought my first guitar and amp there when I was 13 years old and have been going there ever since.It was a '63 Fender Mustang and an Ampeg b25.The only effect I had was a Colorsound Fuzz Wha Pedal(wish I still had that).Alot of history in that store.
Susan plays here alot.Just seen the married couple here this summer.
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Re: rejection -- as a musician -- how you do handle it????

Postby Bobby D » Wed Oct 29, 2008 8:51 pm

Susan is AWESOME -- I met her just after her guitarist had quit, and I wanted to play in her band really badly...she's a great singer, and Derek is such an awesome guy, met him when he was 12 (damn i feel old)....

We got stuck in a cabin on Lake Ontario for two weeks rehearsals.....in winter......got snowed in.

by the end of two weeks, the bassist was fired, two amps had blown up, and the manager broke her laptop and threw it into the lake.

FUNNIEST thing we ever did was go to some "jam night" at a bar somewhere around there....we showed up with a truck...loaded in all our "pro" gear in roadcases, etc. Set up as a trio, and just proceeded to SUCK LOUDLY......for some reason, none of us were feeling it, and not only did we SUCK, we did it at FULL VOLUME......luckily, nobody kicked our ass or anything :-)
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Re: rejection -- as a musician -- how you do handle it????

Postby mfolet » Wed Oct 29, 2008 9:01 pm

Brings new meaning to cabin fever,hahaha.Great story,I enjoyed that.
I'm getting hooked on these pedals too..I have a HoneyBee comming by the weekend.My group of friends call it "the sickness".
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Re: rejection -- as a musician -- how you do handle it????

Postby Donner » Fri Oct 31, 2008 2:21 pm

the sickness - the honey bee or pedals in general ??

I think mike hit on something about rejection making you try even harder....


sometimes if you would have had a little success early you may have stopped trying so hard....

so really those people that thoughtfully reject you in a way do you a favor by gently saying ' your on the right path but your not done searching yet'


my wifes a Rochester (moms maiden name ) :mrgreen:
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Re: rejection -- as a musician -- how you do handle it????

Postby Bobby D » Sat Nov 01, 2008 12:50 pm

Funny thing is -- I wan initially rejected by Miramar/BMG, but the VP of the label said it was one of the best demos he had heard all year...hmmm......

Then I later met a promotions person at a CMJ conference, and he LOVED the CD. He helped me promote it as an indie album.

In a strange twist of events, he later that year went to work for Miramar/BMG.

I reminded him the VP of Miramar loved the CD, and had even written me a letter that it was "one of the best demos he had gotten all year".

THEN we finally got signed.......and as that was happening, we had two other labels that wanted to sign us, Bill Laswell's "Subharmonic" label, and R&S Records in Belgium (who are a GREAT label for electronic music, and Renaat and Sabine actually flew to Florida to spend a week with me and wine and dine me).

So after all that rejection, all of a sudden we had three potential labels. I signed with Miramar/BMG, because I had worked for BMG Distribution for 4 years, knew almost everyone in the company, and knew they were gonna "push" it because most of them knew and liked me -- even though I was the record company guy who would say "that sucks" at a big meeting...if an album or band SUCKED, I was not scared to say so :-)

It was an interesting experience. I learned several things from that whole LVX Nova thing.

1. NEVER name your band something you have to explain, or is hard to spell.

2. Avoid putting out a record that you really can't recreate LIVE pretty well. LVX did some live shows, but it was boring, for us and the audience....

3. Always bring clean undies and socks with you on the road, and then just buy new ones along he way and throw out the old ones as you go.
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Re: rejection -- as a musician -- how you do handle it????

Postby Bobby D » Sat Nov 01, 2008 2:42 pm

the great Sherman Robertson (possibly the BEST Texas electric blues guitar player alive) told me something once.

"Don't wish for the blues, Bobby.....you might get it"

he was right, as usual.....
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